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A Pinch for a Pinch
A Pinch for a Pinch is episode six in season four of Full House. It originally aired on October 26, 1990. Opening Teaser Joey teaches Michelle how to play "house hockey", and he reminds her that there's no cross-checking or high-sticking, and breaking a lamp will give her 10 minutes with Comet in the "penalty box". She says that Danny doesn't allow "house hockey", but Joey promises that she won't tell, he won't tell either. As soon as she gets the knack, she scores a goal against him (see Quotes). Synopsis The episode starts in the kitchen, where Jesse seems to be working on a new jingle of some sort. Then the back door opens, and Danny comes in with Comet, teaching him how to fetch the newspaper for the master. He pretends he's the dog and Jesse's the master, and demonstrates. Jesse's pleased, and asks to rub his brother-in-law's tummy, and Danny suggests the scratch behind the ears. Then Becky comes in and tells him to get ready for the upcoming Wake Up, San Francisco, where their main topic is celebrity pasta salads, and that excites Danny as he loves free food. In the meantime, it is Joey's week to be a parent volunteer at Michelle's preschool, but on the Thursday of that week, he has an appointment with a dentist (after having a for breakfast), so he gets Jesse to cover for him at the preschool on that day. Meanwhile, D.J. gives Stephanie a free copy of her school newspaper. Kimmy Gibbler, who is now in charge of the paper's horoscope (but wrote as "Aquarium"), writes a horoscope under Stephanie's sign of which D.J. reads aloud. The predictions are that Stephanie's day will start out with good fortune, the afternoon being an unpleasant surprise, then a misunderstanding will occur at home and she must exercise extreme caution after dark. As a result, Stephanie starts freaking out about all of those things start coming true, the first occurring when she finds a dollar in her jacket pocket as part of the "good fortune" to begin her day. Jesse's subbing starts out okay as he plays "The Farmer in the Dell" on his guitar, and passes out animal crackers at snack time, and then Aaron Bailey starts bullying Michelle, and he pinches her. Jesse loses his temper with Aaron, and he tells Michelle to retaliate by doing to Aaron exactly what he did to her. When the teacher, Mrs. Manning, sees Michelle and Aaron both pinching each other at the same time, she punishes both Aaron and Michelle. Jesse, who believes Aaron should be the only one to be punished, angrily takes Michelle out of the preschool. When Joey returns from the dentist, Danny and Becky] ask him to try some " cappollini" (from their show) upon his return. However, he can't, as he had a shot. He tells everyone (using drilling and water jet sounds) that he also had a root canal, with Becky interpreting his words. When Jesse and Michelle come home, Jesse explains the situation to Danny. Danny understands that Jesse was trying to protect Michelle from Aaron, but feels that Jesse should not have had to take her out of the preschool. It then turns into an argument between both brothers-in-law as to what approaches should've been taken. In the kitchen, Joey starts taking his pain pills as part of his dentist's prescription. He tries the usual "glass of water" approach, but when he tries to drink the water, it ends up out of his mouth and down the drain, so he uses the sink's squirt gun. When Stephanie tries talking to him upon her return from school, he mumbles right in front of her, confirming both the unpleasant surprise and misunderstanding in her horoscope. Upstairs in D.J. and Stephanie's room, D.J. and Kimmy are working on an editorial for the next issue of their paper, when Stephanie comes into the room wearing a catcher's mask, and holding a tennis racket and Michelle's lamp in order to "take extreme caution after dark", the third and final item in her horoscope. It turns out to be Kimmy playing tricks on Stephanie (by copying horoscopes out of old papers), and she fell for it (see Quotes)! If that's not bad enough, she's the latest victim of Michelle's pinching, as she gets pinched for "stealing" Michelle's lamp, when Stephanie was merely borrowing it. The "crab girl" tells Stephanie to "Give it back, or you're getting it again", but Jesse stops her and tells her to "put away the pinchers". Later that night in her room, Jesse has a "little chat" with Michelle where he explains what he taught her was wrong. Her mouth drops open at this news, and after he closes it, he explains that when he used her behavior growing up in that he got in a lot of fights at school, when he should've just plain spoken up about it instead of using violence. He encourages her to do the same thing, and she agrees with a "Capiche." Danny straightens things out with Mrs. Manning so Michelle can go back to the preschool, and he has arranged to let Jesse be special helper all next week. He says that Jesse can even bring his guitar again and play Elvis songs with the kids. The chat continues as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear. Quotes Joey and Michelle's "house hockey" game... Joey: Heh heh heh. a French-sounding accent Now you must try to shoot ze puck past ze world's best goalie, moi. You must be very, very tricky because nothing gets by Pierre de la Pate. Michelle: Look! Daddy's home! does look, and...she scores a goal. Score! In your face, Pate! Joey: You think you are too tricky? Scare bleu, les enfants. ---- Michelle: Hey, you ate my elephant! Aaron: It's in my tummy now. Ha ha ha! ---- Michelle: Give me your cookie! Aaron: That was my camel! Michelle: It's in my tummy now. Ha ha ha! ---- Danny: Michelle about the things she’s holding in her arms Where’d you get all this stuff? Michelle: At the zoo. I saw lions and tigers and bears. Danny: Oh my. What happened to preschool? Michelle: I quit preschool. Danny: You quit preschool? Jesse: Well, she didn’t actually quit. I kind of pulled her out of there. Danny, this preschool thing is—is way overrated. to Michelle Michelle, tell your daddy what you learned today in the real world. Michelle: A camel can spit. Jesse: Danny, one day you’re gonna be glad I pulled her out of that place. Danny: How could you do this? It happens to be an excellent preschool. Michelle is getting an academic foundation that’s gonna carry her through grades K through 12, through college, through Harvard law school. Jess, you have robbed our nation of one of the finest legal minds the Supreme Court has ever known. Michelle: I gotta go potty. exits the living room. ---- Stephanie: her horoscope You mean I spent this whole day freaking out over nothing? catcher's mask HOW RUDE! Trivia *The episode title is a take on the proverb "a pinch for an inch" *When Michelle says, "I saw lions and tigers and bears", and Danny says, "Oh my", it's in reference to the line "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" from the 1939 classic film Category:Season 4 Category:Episodes